Bathroom for rent

Saw this on the Best of Craigslist ... A 60-year-old woman wants to rent out the bathroom in her 1-bedroom East Village apartment!

"The bathroom is large. You can easily put a twin air mattress in there. I only ask that when I need to use the bathroom, you or your air mattress are not in it. I do ask that when you are in the apartment, you confine yourself to the bathroom. I do not feel comfortable with a stranger walking around my living room. This might change as I get to know you better. You may have guest[s] over as long as they are confined to the bathroom as well. This might seem a bit odd but please remember the rent is $400 and the bathroom is large."

Can you imagine how that would work? The lady would have to pee in the middle of the night, you'd have to take your Aerobed and drag it into the hallway while she did her business and then set it back up when she's finished. I know rents are high in NYC and lots of people divide the living room into two bedrooms, but really? THE BATHROOM?

See the original ad here.

Spammer seeks Landlady for possible LTR

The probable spammer.

"What's up
I was looking at your post and I
think that we need to be with each other. Take a look
at my photo and e-mail to me so I could
give you more pics and info
Bye"

Finding love on Craigslist

I mainly use Craigslist to place ads for roommates (and once I sold a used appliance for $25).

Although I have ventured into the rants and raves, the blatant racism quickly turned me away. Occasionally I take a gander at the best-of-craigslist feature. Once I looked at Missed Connections to see if anybody missed me (no one did).

Amazingly, some people have claimed to find love among the whackos who post grainy photos of their crotches. At least that's what Vidya Rao says in her story, How I got a life (and love) on Craigslist .

"I came across one guy's posting with the heading “Artistic type looking to take someone to a movie” and — gasp — a photo of his face. As a broke graduate student in the city, I concluded that the chances of meeting someone crazy were worth being able to see a $12 flick and, I reasoned, I could probably score dinner out of him, too.

So I responded to the ad and told him we could meet at the theater. We chatted and e-mailed short get-to-know-you messages for the next 72 hours until the big day arrived. On the way to the theater, scenarios about this strange man attacking me with a chloroform-soaked cloth and dragging me back to his dungeon played over and over in my mind. (He later told me that his biggest worry was that I was a troll.)

After the movie, I hyperanalyzed out of nervousness. Is this a date? Is he gay? Wait, why is he more interested in my shoes than in what I'm saying?"

Aside from housing, cheap stuff and roommates, CL can be a decent place to meet people. One of my friends posted an ad for running and exercise buddies.

I now have two friends I never would have met if my third friend wasn't so desperate for aerobic companionship.

-- The Landlady

It's all about you

The decider.

"I am very much interested in this and it could be great if you can mail be the exact address so that I can decide if it is convenient for me. Also do let me your know your cell [phone number] so that I can decide to call when I decide if I want to deal with you."

He want live with me

Alexandr.

"I want live with you. I am 21 years old, student of economy. Male, smart."

Just in case I forgot

The Angry Buddhist, Part III.

Read parts I and II.

"Hello, hello! It's XXXX again. Just wanted to tell you that I think its nice to have a space for bikes, Ima think outside the box kinda person with a work ethic as sharp as a tack.

And I also wanted to give you my phone number in case you wanted to give me call.

I hope to hear from you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Daddy wants her out

The 42-year-old who lives with her parents.

Lady: "Hi. I need a room for the summer. Please call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX. Thanks!"

Her Dad: "My daughter, XXXX, sent you an email about your ad yesterday and she has not heard back from you. Please do her the courtesy of letting her know if the room is still available. We need to get this show on the road. - [The Dad]"

I wrote them both back with my phone number, asked her to tell me about herself, said I would answer any questions she had about the house/roommates.

Lady: "I am 42, a nurse, and will need a place til September. My parents are moving but I will be going to Florida to stay with them after they get settled. The only question I had was about cable - do you have it and do you get HBO?"

Her Dad: "Thank you for responding. Can she extend the lease? Do you have a dishwasher? Where is the parking?"

This is not Love Connection

The divorced guy.

"I am a middle age guy who is looking to retire soon or at least find a new career. I hate my job!! I took it only to support my family a 7 year old son who is my life. He has moved in with his mom. We were trying to work it out but now I am open to the possibility of meeting someone new. You sound nice. Do you want to get a drink sometime?"

My life as a movie

Just kidding.

Your love habits are TMI

The sausage lover.

"I saw your post on Craigslist. I just graduated from the University of XXXX and scored a job at [large company that makes pepperoni]. I will be working with sausage. Not making it, though. yuck. I mean I like sausage, but not in that way. LOL"

He's baaacck!

The Angry Buddhist, Part II. Two years later.

Ed note: Read the first installment here.

"Hello, I saw your ad on Craigslist about a room to rent in your house to share, and am typing a message to you letting you know I am interested.

I am a very laid back person.... I am also a very quiet person whom enjoys the quiet and tranquility that a home should be. I don't drink or do drugs, and don't do drama AT ALL!

I get along famously w/ animals, so if your pet needs to be watched, I would be happy to oblige.

I am not at all intrested in the party scene. Moreover I am looking to settle down in these later years of my youth. [My] interests include, photography, music, nature, life, vegetarianism (but not a must, and all things kind).

In spirit, and light..."

Perhaps needless to say, this time I didn't respond. I found a roommate within two days and deleted my original ad.

This isn't Missed Connections

The Hot Rodder.

"Hey saw your listing - your place sounds amazing!!! I am looking to move in with someone trustworthy, beautiful and in a decent area. Getting a new car soon that I am worried about parking in even some good areas. It's a Mustang - would love to give you a ride sometime! Would love to talk to you about the place. ;-)

So drop me an email so we can talk more and see if you would be interested in giving me a tour. I am a 21-year-old professional male who has an excellent and fun, steady job and is very funny and great to be around and trustworthy so get back to me. Your Friend, XXXX"

We eat kimchi with the lights out

The Xenophobe.

"I am sort of in a bad situation. I just moved into a room with no amenities for 400 a month and don't think that its worth it. My roommate is also a 65-year-old Cambodian lady who doesn't speak much English. She makes really smelly food. Its very uncomfortable to stay there."

Dodged a bullet

The Angry Buddhist.

"I am a 32 year old single male who just got back from [the other coast]. I went because my grandparents were sick, and now I'm ready to come back. I have good references upon request. I am a very tidy person and pay my bills on time, as my references will attest. Anywho, I was wondering if the internet was included in the utilities?

I also am allergic to cats so please specify if a cat would be residing within this residence.

I have substantial income that will allow me to pay the bills, and rent when due, and am able to hold a job for extra cash. I am eager to find a job, a.s.a.p., but the rent is a guaranteed income for you because it is directly deposited in my bank acct. each month. I am very tidy about my space and like to maintain a stable home environment.

I am interested in coming to look at the place sometime; please leave a phone number that i can reach you @ so i can call to arrange a meeting.

I hope all is well in your world, and look forward to talking to you soon.

In spirit, and light..."

I went away for a week and didn't check e-mail. I came back to three extraneous responses from the Angry Buddhist.

"Nice. REALLY NICE. I am willing to pay rent and that does not merit a response in this world."

"Why have you not responded to my emails?"

"F--- you."

Bonjour, au revoir

The French romanticist.

"I'm really interested by your offer about a room, my dear lady. I would like to know if it's at the moment available. Is there wireless internet? Do you have some pics of the house and yourself?

More about me: I'm French and 21 years old. ... I'm a cool guy and clean. I'm moving to the US the XXth of January so maybe we could make an appointment to visit the house and each other after this date? Bye for now! Christophe"

The broken heart sob story

The serial monogamist with a broken ... lease.

"i just broke up with my gf and need to find a place by next wed! i have a good job and great credit. im very easy to get along with and keep to myself most of the time. i lived in [your town] for 4 years with my exgf, moved to [another town] for 6 months with new girl b4 she dumped me, then moved to [third town] for 2 years with my current gf. or should i say exgf? she moved out and im stuck with all the rent. so i have to move out. thanks for ur time....enjoy fat tues!"

You may have a drinking problem

The future AA member.

"I am a 33-year old male; friendly, quiet and non-intrusive. I am a grad student at XXXX University but I will stay in [your town] til May to work for XXXX College.

I drink occasionally if that would be counted as drugs by you. I like to hang out with others but due to my job and thesis, sometimes I would have to say no. I hope you would not be upset by this."

Follow-up: "Generally I drink beer about 12 in the evening, no more than that. I am used to drinking in my room. I don't wish to disturb others."

Get a bus pass

The ride moocher.

"AM LOOKING FOR A PLACE TO MOVE CLOSER TO EVERYTHING. AS I DO NOT DRIVE, I AM LOOKING 4 ROOMMATES WHO DRIVE. SOMETIMES I NEED A RIDE."

No explanation necessary

The mysterious beau.

"Hello, I read [your] posting on Craigslist. I was just curious if the room is still available? If so, is there a security deposit? Do you need it upfront? I am actually looking for the room for me and my boyfriend. He's kind of ... Will explain in detail of situation if room is still available. It's complicated."

Mom and Dad got it covered

He's Mr. Independent.

"Yo, Could you please provide the address as I would like to do a drive by. I am a male 22 years old who will be attending school. I am honest and reliable and independent. My parents will be paying the rent. Thank you."

Heroic feats of strength

The wannabe Olympian.

"If there are any others bidding for the slot, I'm open to any kind of physical/intellectual competition which does not require copious amounts of keyboard work."

You have room?

Ignored pleas for "no overseas inquiries."

"Hi, my name is Boris. I am interesting to share this house and if you would be so kind to discuss the detail, please provide the phone number or call me [provides phone number with Russian country code]."

No No. 2 in the shower, please

The dystopian college student.

"I've been looking around at places to live because dorm life is definitely not for me. I have endured a year and a half of it and just cannot do it anymore. I don't mind sharing a bathroom with people but not 49 other girls who think it is okay to leave their tampons around and literally take sh--s in the shower and fail to clean it up."