The serial monogamist with a broken ... lease.
"i just broke up with my gf and need to find a place by next wed! i have a good job and great credit. im very easy to get along with and keep to myself most of the time. i lived in [your town] for 4 years with my exgf, moved to [another town] for 6 months with new girl b4 she dumped me, then moved to [third town] for 2 years with my current gf. or should i say exgf? she moved out and im stuck with all the rent. so i have to move out. thanks for ur time....enjoy fat tues!"
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